The One Where Monica has the Astronaut's Baby
by FictionWriter91
Summary: Monica decides to go through with the insemination after all, and she's fine raising this baby on her own, or so she originally believed. Can Chandler step up and be there for her in the end? ONE SHOT


**Hello again! So I had this really cool idea when I was writing my other chapter for Friends last night, and it wouldn't leave me, so I had to write it down. This is just a one-shot, but I hope you enjoy it. (My apologies if it's been done already)**

* * *

"CHANDLER!"

He was awakened by the shrill shriek that sounded right by his ear. He jolted upward and fell out of bed with a loud and painful THUD.

"Wh-what, what, what?!" he yelped, holding his head.

"It's time," she whimpered.

 **9 months earlier**

"It's funny," Joey said. "I pictured you with a blonde guy, three kids, and a big house with a pool."

"Yea, well, things don't always go as you planned," Monica said heavily.

"You're really gonna do this?" he asked.

"Yea. I am."

 **Now**

"Oh my God this hurts so much," she panted. "Ooohhhhh!"

"Aaaahhhhh!" Chandler roared with her. "Come on! You can do this! You got this!"

"Please hurry," she cried.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" he shouted back. He rushed around grabbing last minute things. "Why is this happening?! It's early!"

"HURRY!"

 **8 months and 18 days earlier**

"It really happened?" Rachel asked. Monica nodded, grinning hugely.

"It really did. I'm gonna be a mom!" she crowed.

"Wow, honey. I have to hand it to you, you really aren't afraid of being a single mom," Rachel said admiringly.

"I'm not. Lots of people do it. Besides, I've got four wonderful friends and a big brother who will help me," Monica smiled.

"Awww," Joey said, feeling touched.

"I'm not on diaper duty," Chandler warned.

"I have a son, I know the ropes," Ross chimed in.

"Can I make a song about your baby?" Phoebe asked.

"So long as it's not explicit," Monica said with a warning behind her tone.

"It won't. What rhymes with placenta?" Phoebe asked. The others groaned.

 **Now**

"Ah, ah, ah," Monica said, wincing and holding her abdomen. "Wow they weren't kidding when they said this hurts like hell."

"Wouldn't know. Unless you kicked me in the boys at the same time, but we'll never know which pain is worse," Chandler pointed out.

"Really? Now?" Monica asked, getting worked up.

"I'm sorry! I ramble when I'm nervous," Chandler said. "I wish those guys hadn't gone on that trip..."

"You didn't have to stay, remember?"

"I know, I know, but someone had to," Chandler said grimly.

"Don't make it sound like you're a martyr," Monica threatened.

"I'm not!"

 **7 months and 23 days earlier**

"Oh my God this thing is hideous!" Monica shouted. The race car bed was sitting in her room and making her feel like she was some nine year old boy with a NASCAR fetish.

"I'm so sorry," Phoebe said. "They won't take it back because you signed for it."

"When did I sign for it?" Monica demanded.

"Oh, right. I did that," Phoebe answered. She winced.

"It'll be all right," Joey said. "We'll go talk to the King himself." Monica went with him feeling like she was going to throw up. She was still getting morning sickness a little bit, but the worst of it had passed. Ross had given her some tips that Carol had used.

"You stay here," Joey instructed. He left to find the King, leaving Monica standing there and looking around at all the beds. She wandered over to a little crib, and her heart melted. She was going to own one of those. She touched it gingerly, feeling the texture of the wood.

"Okay," Joey said, coming up behind her. "Okay. Okay, okay, okay."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"The...the king was kissing the queen," Joey answered, his face all panicked looking.

"The queen? Janice?!" Monica shrieked, catching on.

"Uh huh," Joey nodded.

"Oh, poor Chandler. What are we gonna do?" Monica asked.

"I can't tell him. It'll crush him. He loves her," Joey started rambling.

"Joey, stop," Monica said, catching his hands. "We have to tell him. We are his friends."

"All right," he agreed after hemming and hawing. "But I'll do it. There's no need to risk the baby's life."

"Pfft please," Monica scoffed. "I can take Chandler any day baby or no baby."

"I believe it," Joey grinned.

 **Now**

"What are you, the Hulk?!" Chandler asked, gripping his wrist gingerly. Monica had latched on and almost twisted it right off with her contraction.

"I'm deceptively strong," Monica panted. "Don't be such a baby."

"I'm not a baby," Chandler argued.

"You're being a baby," the cab driver chimed in.

"Who asked you?" Chandler demanded. "Shut up and drive, man!"

"Oohhh here comes another one!" she screamed. Chandler slipped his arm out of his sleeve before she could break his other wrist.

 **7 months and 9 days earlier**

"I really wanna play," Monica complained. She was sitting on the bench watching the others play touch football with some random girl both Joey and Chandler were trying to get.

"Sweetie, you're pregnant," Rachel said. "You can't play football."

"You're just scared I'd win," Monica said haughtily.

"No, I'm scared the baby would eject itself out of you for fear of its life," Rachel replied.

"Yea, Mon, it's okay. I'll look after the trophy," Ross said, winking.

"I hate you!" she shouted after him as he ran off laughing.

"If anyone needs this, it's me," Chandler was arguing as he passed her with Joey.

"Oh just let him have her!" Monica yelled after them.

"Never!" Joey shouted back.

 **Now**

"Almost there," Chandler was saying. "Just hang on. A few more minutes."

"Thank you for staying," Monica was crying now. "Thank you for not leaving me."

"I called them. They're on their way back," Chandler reassured her.

"Make sure they have my 50 bucks," Monica said. Chandler nodded.

 **6 months and 12 days earlier**

"I can't believe you let those two talk you out of quitting your job," Monica said to Rachel. It was almost Christmas, and Rachel had been unemployed for a couple of weeks. She was very agitated.

"I'm gonna kill those two," she threatened.

"I got your tree!" Phoebe cried out. She produced an old, brown, rotten tree that had definitely seen better days.

"Um," Monica said.

"Isn't it great?" Joey cut in, giving them a look. He had been down with her at his job all day trying to sell trees with her scaring everyone off with her zombie sticks.

"I guess," Monica said reluctantly. She really wanted a pretty tree. She had to hand it to Joey, though. He was very kind hearted.

"So, have you thought of any names yet?" Ross asked.

"I have, actually," Monica smiled.

"Tell us!" Phoebe cried.

"They're a secret," Monica winked.

"Aww that's so not fair," Rachel whined.

"It's Joey, right?" Joey asked.

"No, it's gonna be Chandler," Chandler interrupted.

"It's neither," Monica assured them.

"But Joey is a cool name! It means baby kangaroo," Joey tried.

"No."

 **Now**

"Still not gonna tell me the names?" Chandler asked as the cab driver and he both helped Monica out.

"Not a chance," she huffed. She started waddling towards the hospital doors. Chandler grabbed the bags and hurried after her.

"But what if you die during labor?" Chandler asked. "How will I know what to call the baby?" Monica stopped short, making him run into her. She turned and fixed him with a death glare.

"I am NOT dying in labor, Chandler Bing, and what a horrible thing to say to me right as I'm about to do it," she snapped.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to handle these types of situations," Chandler responded.

"You're such an idiot," Monica growled. She continued on into the building.

 **6 months earlier**

"Really? You can't remember which sister?" Monica asked, outraged.

"I was really, really drunk," Chandler offered. The others were staring at him. "Joey is gonna kill me."

"This'll be fun to watch," Phoebe smirked.

"Not helping," Chandler said to her.

"Hey!" Joey said sharply, coming inside. "You and me. Hall. Now."

"Oh God," Chandler whimpered. He gave the others one final glance before he went out the door.

"He should get a strip ripped off him," Monica said. "Serves him right for being an ass."

"In his defense, he was pretty drunk," Ross said. He shuddered at the memory of Chandler's tongue in his mouth.

"So everything is going well?" Rachel asked, changing the subject.

"Yes. The baby is healthy and happy," Monica beamed.

"Boy or a girl?" Phoebe asked.

"Not telling," Monica winked.

"Oh! Seriously?!" they all shouted.

 **Now**

"Monica Geller," Monica said at the front desk. "I'm having a baby."

"Okay Miss Geller," the nurse said, smiling. "We'll get you a wheelchair."

"You want me in there when it, you know," Chandler finished.

"Shoots out of my legs like a damn rocket?" Monica asked.

"Yea."

"I don't care."

"You're super cheery when you're in labor," Chandler muttered.

 **5 months earlier**

"You threw her prosthetic leg in the fire?!" Monica shrieked. Joey hung his head, shameful.

"That's despicable!" Phoebe threw in. She glared at Joey.

"That's not the worst part," Joey winced.

"How could this get any worse?" Monica asked.

"I ran like hell and left her there," Joey answered. Monica slapped him hard on the chest. "Ow!"

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Phoebe snapped.

"Oh, I am. Chandler is gonna find out, and I'm gonna be so humiliated," Joey said. "Isn't that punishment enough?"

 **The next day**

"Hey," Monica said.

"Hey, what's up?" Chandler asked.

"Need some milk," she answered, rummaging in his fridge.

"You know about the leg don't you," Chandler said.

"Did you see it?" Monica asked, dropping her act of needing milk.

"It was weird and freaked me out. I'm such a small person. I really am," Chandler said.

"No, he's a small person," Monica said, pointing at Joey who had emerged.

"Heard about the leg burning huh?" Joey said.

"It came up," Chandler replied.

"Did she, uh, by an chance find that funny?" Joey asked.

"You got any milk at your place?" Chandler asked, following Monica out the door.

 **Now**

"You're not gonna call her Ginger are you?" Chandler asked.

"No! That's a horrible name for a baby," Monica replied.

"Ahem," the nurse coughed, looking at her pointedly.

"What?" Monica asked. "Is your name Ginger or something?" The nurse pointed to her name tag.

"Well I'll be damned," Chandler said.

 **4 months and 16 days earlier**

"I can't believe this is happening," Phoebe said. She, Monica, Chandler, and Joey were trapped in Monica's room listening to Ross and Rachel roar and tear each other apart in the living room.

"I can't believe he cheated," Monica said in disgust.

"I can't believe we're gonna die in here," Chandler added.

"We'll have to repopulate the earth," Joey said. "Where are the condoms?"

"Because condoms are the way to do that," Chandler said sarcastically. "And besides, Monica's way ahead of us."

"Stop kidding around. This is serious," Monica said, gesturing. She could hear both Ross and Rachel crying now.

"Yea you guys. Our two best friends just broke each other's hearts," Phoebe said, tearing up as well. Before long, they all had red eyes.

"What do we do?" Joey asked quietly.

"We just be there for them," Chandler replied.

 **Now**

"Are you sure they're coming?" Monica asked.

"Yes. Ross said they're a few hours away," Chandler answered. "Want me to call your parents?"

"Not yet, not yet, not yet," Monica chanted, huffing with her new contraction.

"Oh you're coming along quickly," the doctor said. "8 centimeters dilated."

"Okay that's my cue to leave," Chandler said, getting nauseous.

"No!" Monica shouted. Chandler looked at her, surprised.

"What?"

"Please don't leave me," she whimpered. She clutched at his hand. It was still tender from the cab ride. Chandler didn't want to stay and witness any of this, but the look in her eyes showed that she was really afraid, so he changed his mind.

"I won't," he promised.

 **3 months and 29 days earlier**

"Chandler! Are you smoking?" Monica asked, shocked. He whipped around, cigarette dangling from his lips.

"Nuh uh," he said.

"Chandler," Monica said. "You can't. I'm pregnant. It'll hurt the baby."

"That's why I'm outside," Chandler gestured.

"Is this because of Ross and Rachel not being able to be in the same room together?" Monica asked.

"It just reminds me so much of my parents," Chandler blurted out. "I can't stand it."

"Aw, honey, it'll get better," Monica promised.

"That's what they said. It didn't," Chandler pointed out.

"Please quit," Monica said. "For me?"

"No."

"For the baby?"

"Only if you agree to name him Chandler," he said.

"Enjoy your death sticks," Monica sighed.

 **Now**

"Is that smoke I smell?" Monica asked, furious. Chandler was up by her head. He didn't want to see anything he didn't have to.

"N-no," he lied.

"Chandler!"

"Shouldn't you be more focused on having a baby?" he demanded.

"Why did you start again?"

"I had one. Because I was scared. That's all," Chandler said.

"Swear to me you'll never smoke again," Monica growled, clutching his shirt tightly by the throat.

"I swear," he choked.

 **3 months and 12 days earlier**

"I am six months pregnant," Monica said. "What could this guy possibly see in me?"

"Maybe he feels bad," Rachel said.

"Maybe he wants to be your baby daddy," Phoebe winked.

"Ew! No! I'm not going on this date," Monica said, going for the phone.

"Just try it," Rachel coaxed. "You haven't been out in a long time."

"Um, hello," Monica said. "Baby bump mean anything to you?"

"Doesn't mean you can't date," Phoebe chimed in. "You're still single."

"Hello, children," Chandler said, coming in. Rachel caught the look Monica gave him. It was interesting.

"How's that hypnosis tape going?" Phoebe asked.

"It's great! I really don't feel like having a cigarette," Chandler replied. He pulled out his chapstick and put it on his lips in such a girly way that they all stared.

"Um," Monica started.

"What?" he asked.

"Nevermind," she finished.

"Give Pete a chance," Phoebe changed the subject back.

"I still think it's weird. Chandler, would you date a six month pregnant woman?" Monica asked.

"That depends," Chandler said slowly.

"On what?" Rachel asked, curious.

"On who it is."

 **Now**

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Monica said. She was in full labor now, and Chandler was amazed she picked that time to apologize.

"Mon, you should really focus on what you're doing here," he said.

"I know, I know. I just am sorry," she panted.

"You're forgiven," Chandler said, kissing her forehead. He froze, unsure of why he just did that. She looked at him, surprised, but didn't comment.

"Okay, darling," the doctor said. "One last big push."

 **3 months earlier**

"You're still dating Pete, huh?" Chandler asked.

"I don't see it going anywhere. I don't care how excited he is to be dating a pregnant woman," Monica said.

"Then break up with him," Chandler suggested.

"It's hard, you know? I hate making people sad," she sighed.

"It's harder leading them on and then breaking up," Chandler pointed out. Monica looked at him.

"When did you become so wise?" she asked.

"I've been hanging out with you too much," he grinned.

"Chandler, can I be honest?" she said suddenly.

"Yea. Of course," he nodded.

"I'm really scared to have this baby by myself," she whispered. Chandler looked into her eyes and saw that it was true.

"Don't stay with Pete for the sake of having someone to help you," he warned. "I'll do it."

"You'll do what?"

"I'll help you. Raise the baby I mean," he finished awkwardly.

"You?" Monica asked, laughing.

"Yes, me," he answered. "I like babies. I like you. It'll be fine."

"Chandler, you don't have to help me," Monica assured him.

"But I want to," he insisted.

"Let's just see if you can even make labor," she laughed. "Then we'll talk raising a baby together."

 **Now**

Chandler felt like he was going to faint, but he held on. When the doctor held up the crying infant, he felt a weird sensation travel over his body. Monica was crying and laughing and squeezing his hand. He was staring in awe at this magnificent wonder that had just been brought into the world.

"Well, Bing," Monica said. "You made labor."

"Told you," he said. Then he fainted.

 **2 months and 20 days earlier**

"Rachel's date was awful," Chandler commented. The gang was back up in Monica's apartment. She was sitting down and out of breath. The baby was getting bigger, and it was taking all her energy too.

"Those poor people never saw his scream coming," Joey said sadly, shaking his head.

"I don't think Ross and Rachel are ever going to be okay," Monica said for all of them. They all looked at one another sadly.

"They have to. This is just a rough patch," Phoebe said.

"We'll make them get along," Joey said, punching his fist into his hand.

"No, you can't do that," Monica sighed. "I just don't know what to do."

"Make them godparents," Phoebe suggested, getting excited.

"No. I had other people in mind for that," Monica said shyly.

"Really?" Chandler asked. "Who?"

"It's a secret," Monica winked.

"Damn it, Monica!" Joey shouted.

 **Now**

"You all right?" Monica asked as Chandler came to. He looked to see her holding her baby tenderly.

"Yea. I'm more than all right," he replied. "Hey, she's beautiful. Just like her mom."

"She is," Monica beamed. "She's perfect."

"What's her name?" Chandler asked.

"Janice," Monica replied. Chandler gulped.

"J-Janice?" he choked.

"You should see your face," Monica said, laughing hysterically.

"So, not Janice?" Chandler asked. She shook her head. "Oh thank God!"

"She's Victoria Judy Geller," Monica told him.

"Victoria," Chandler repeated. "That's really nice."

 **1 month and 13 days earlier**

"Phoebe is totally going to get caught," Monica said to Chandler. They were at the coffee house. Monica sipped her water.

"Yea. I don't know how she thinks she can date two people and not have them figure it out," Chandler agreed.

"So how's dating life?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Not very active right now," Chandler shrugged. "I'm glad you finally broke it off with Pete."

"It just didn't seem fair to him," Monica nodded.

"So, when you have the baby," Chandler said. "Are you gonna look for a husband?"

"No," Monica shook her head. "The plan was to raise the baby on my own, remember?"

"With my help," Chandler said.

"We'll see," she smiled.

 **Now**

Chandler watched them both sleep. He felt so proud of Monica then. His heart ached almost. He stepped out into the hallway for some air. He fiddled with his cigarette box, but he tossed it instead. Things were gonna change. He felt really good about it.

"Is she here?" Judy and Jack asked, coming around the corner.

"How did you...?"

"Ross called us. Honestly, what was she thinking doing this alone?" Judy admonished.

"She did really great," Chandler said defensively. "And I was there with her."

"That's great son," Jack said, patting his shoulder.

"Can we see her?" Judy asked.

"Yea. Just in there," Chandler pointed. They went in and exclaimed at the sight of their grandchild. Chandler watched from the door. He couldn't stop thinking how beautiful Monica was in that moment.

 **1 month earlier**

"Just turn away when he goes to slap it," Monica suggested.

"He gives me a look," Chandler said. "I have to have it slapped or else I'm not a part of the team."

"That's just ridiculous," Monica laughed.

"I know! But I don't want to get fired," Chandler responded.

"I'm sure you won't...oh!" Monica gasped, clutching her belly.

"Is it...? No. Not baby time?!" Chandler panicked.

"No, no. Just Braxton Hicks," Monica assured him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, still freaking out.

"Yes. I'm positive. Now, this is what you gotta do..." she went on.

 **The next day**

Monica felt so blessed to have so many friends and family come for her baby shower. She noticed that Chandler was helping to clean up.

"You don't have to," she said.

"No, no, it's fine," he answered. "You sit."

"You'll make someone a fine wife one day," Monica teased.

"That's the plan," he joked. She got up to help anyway.

"I can't thank you enough for being there for me these past few months. Getting me what I want in the middle of the night, rubbing my feet, helping me clean...you really are a great guy," Monica smiled.

"I can be," he winked. He reached out and touched her hand lightly with his fingers. She felt a jolt of electricity.

"Chandler..." she started.

"Yea?"

"Thanks," she finished. She wasn't brave enough to voice it. She didn't think she could handle him saying no.

 **Now-3 hours after the birth**

"We're here," Ross panted, rushing up to Chandler. "Where is she?" The others were gathered around behind him sunburnt and looking exhausted.

"In there," Chandler pointed. He went in with them this time. Judy and Jack had left already.

"Hi," Rachel said, hugging Monica. "Oh my God. Monica she's so beautiful!"

"Can I hold her?" Ross asked.

"Sure," Monica nodded. Ross picked Victoria up. He looked as though he was going to cry.

"An astronaut baby," Joey grinned.

"Joey," Rachel said, smacking him.

"You really stayed with her through labor?" Phoebe asked Chandler.

"I did," he nodded.

"Dude, that's rough," Joey said sympathetically.

"Not really," Chandler smiled, looking at Monica. She smiled back.

"Hey," she said. "Where's my 50 bucks?"

 **2 days earlier**

"So we're gonna go to this beach house that my friend owns," Phoebe said. "Monica, do you think you can come?"

"I don't think I'd better go anywhere when I'm this close to having a baby," Monica said. "Sorry."

"Aw but you'll miss the fun," Phoebe pouted.

"Another time, Phoebs," Monica promised.

"So, you're okay with us all going?" Joey asked.

"I'll stay," Ross said.

"No, no," Chandler said. "I hate the beach. I'm staying."

"You sure man?" Ross asked.

"Yes. You guys go have fun," Chandler said.

"50 bucks says she has that baby after we come back," Phoebe said suddenly.

"You're on," Monica said, giving her a high five.

 **Now-5 hours after the birth**

"Hey," Ross said, coming up to Chandler. "I don't know if you heard, but Rachel and I are back together."

"Really?" Chandler asked, surprised. "How did that happen?"

"It was weird. We were at the beach having fun, and it all just seemed to click into place. After seeing Victoria, I told Rachel that I was wrong for what I did. It doesn't matter now. Life is too precious to waste fighting over stupid crap. I love Rachel, and we're going to start again."

"Good for you," Chandler grinned, clapping his back.

"Hey," Joey said. "Do you think she named her Victoria after Victoria's Secret? Since she kept it all a secret until now?"

"I rather doubt it, Joe," Ross scoffed. Chandler didn't comment.

 **3 days after the birth**

Monica was getting settled into the couch while Victoria napped when Chandler came in.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Chandler said.

"Okay," she agreed. He sat next to her.

"You know me as the guy across the hall who is afraid of commitment and marriage," Chandler started. "But in reality, I've changed. Seeing you go through this pregnancy alone had made me realize that if you can do this, then I can be a man."

"Where are you going with this?" Monica asked, confused.

"Monica, I'm in love with you," Chandler spit out. "I think I always have been. I was just too stupid to realize it sooner. I wanna raise this baby with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."

"Oh, Chandler," Monica said, tearing up.

"I know it's so soon after Victoria was born, but I think you feel it too," Chandler said, taking her hand into his.

"I do. I've felt it for the last few months. I just thought it was me," she said.

"Not just you," he reassured her.

"Wow," she laughed nervously. "So, you and me."

"Yea. If you'll have me," he replied.

"Of course," she smiled. Chandler contemplated kissing her just then, but Victoria interrupted.

"I got her," Chandler said, going to pick her up. He cradled her in his arms and rocked her back to sleep. Monica watched in awe. Chandler was soothing her baby. Chandler had professed his love to her. Chandler, the goofy guy across the hall. It was amazing.

"You're really good at that," she whispered when he came back after putting Victoria down.

"You know what else I'm good at?" he asked.

"What?"

"This." He kissed her. It was the most amazing kiss she'd ever had. It almost seemed endless and that time had stopped.

"Wow," she breathed after.

"I know," he said. She squeezed his fingers in hers tightly, trying not to cry.

"Welcome to the family, Chandler," she said.

* * *

 **Voila! As always, I love hearing your thoughts :) If you want me to write more one shots about our beloved Friends, let me know, and I will try to get creative ;)**


End file.
